Avengers Assemble: The Seven Sceptres
by Lightening sparks
Summary: When Infamous Detectives Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain and The Avengers - Tony Stark, Thor, Captain America, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanov and Hawkeye - Cross paths on a similar mission chaos ensues as they are forced to work together to save the world.


Okay so this is my Re-Written version of my Avengers and SP crossover Avengers: The Seven Sceptres. I'm re writing it because I had no plot in the last one and was making up everything as I went along.

Anyway, everything will stay the same (ish) it will just hopefully make more sense.

...

Chapter 1

...

Valkyrie clicked her fingers, a flame flared in her hand. She twisted, and arched her arm, the flame propelled forwards. It caught the man on the shoulder and scrambled back, yelling.

That was the last of them.

Valkyrie turned to her Detective Partner, Skulduggery Pleasant, who stood watching her with his skull tilted.

"What?" She asked, a frown tugging on her lips.

"Nothing. Just wondering how long it would take you to finish off that one Mage." She could tell by his amused tone that he was trying to wind her up. It worked.

Valkyrie scowled. "Yeah... Well..." She stumbled over her words as she tried to think of a good comeback. "Whatever." She mentally slapped herself. Was that really is the best she could think of?

"That comeback was unsurprisingly weak." Skulduggery noted, in an attempt to wind her up even more.

"I swear to God, Skulduggery. Your asking for it today." Valkyrie folded her arms, clearly unamused.

The Skeleton sighed, entertained enough for today. "Anyway, let's get the Sceptre of the Ancients. Then you can continue your weak attempts to hurt my ego." He began walking further into the Warehouse.

She huffed, but obliged. The sooner this was over with, the sooner she could go home and actually have a full nights sleep, for once. "You're definitely in one of your annoying moods today." She muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm afraid I don't know what your talking about." The Skeleton easily deflected. "You're just being over sensitive."

U"Right..." She replied with a roll of her eyes.

He stopped at the end of the aisles of storage, just before a door. Skulduggery inspected it for a second. "The Sceptre should be through here."

"Hopefully." Valkyrie commented, remembering their failed attempts at getting the Sceptre over the last few months of searching. Most of these missions had barley dented Skulduggery's ego, though. Despite it being his fault. "And even if it is, we still have to find the over like, fifty God-Killer Sceptres."

"6." The Skeleton corrected. "But saying that, a few of them are in different Sactuary's treasurey."

"Still if that other Sceptre, uh, what's it called again-"

"Sceptre of Miracles." Skulduggery helpfully supplied.

"Thanks. Anyway, if the Sceptre of Miracles was stolen from a Sactuary then, couldn't the others be stolen too?" Valkyrie asked.

"A valid point. Which is Ravel has called a meeting with the other Sactuaries over this. Asking politely if they had any of the Seven Sceptres." Skulduggery informed.

"And, did they?" She asked.

"The French Sanctuary and the American Sanctuary." He said, "Although, both seem sceptical about anyone putting them to actual use."

"Why's that?"

"Supposedly you can open a portal using all seven. Put to do that you need a Teleporter. And seeing as the only one in the world's under protection by the Sanctuary, I don't blame them." He explained.

She frowned. "That's the only reason?"

"Well, of course they believe themselves to be unbreechable..."

"Ah,"

"Indeed." He took a step back, "You ready?" He asked.

She shrugged, "It's now or never."

He splayed his hand, then, the air currents shifted. The door burst of its hinges. A loud clang echoed of the walls as it hit the floor.

Behind the doors. Ten or twenty Mages stood, stunned or taken by surprised by the door suddenly bursting open. In the centre of the room, situated in a glass case, etched with symbols. Stood the Sceptre. It was about a metre long, with a flattened off hilt, an antique design scrawled up the staff, then furled around the large crystal balanced at the top.

Valkyrie didn't hesitate to attack. She ducked under a swooping energy sphere mid-charge, gathering a gauntlet of shadows around her right hand. She caught a Mage out of the corner of her eyes, their eyes locked, Valkyrie was already swinging her guantket clad fist before the Mage could even summon a flame. The Mage cried out as he was propelled backwards, lost into the fight in seconds.

She ducked a punch, not even giving her offender a proper look before swiping their legs from under them. Valkyrie snapped her palm, someone was flung backwards, knocking over other guards as they landed. Someone else got a fistful of flames shoved in their face. And the next she traded blows with for a few seconds, before rendering them unconscious with shadows. Valkyrie grinned. Already the crowd was thinning out... This was too easy.

Then someone slammed into her, completely ruining her moment and sending them both crashing to the floor. Valkyrie grunted as she rolled across the cold ground. She barely caught her breath before they pounced again, restraining her arms in one fluid movement as they straddled her. Panicking for a moment as she found herself unable to use magic, she bucked and struggled under their weight, but they were easily two or three times bigger than her.

With a malicious smile, they kept her hands pinned above her head with one hand, and in the other they slowly began to create a ball of energy. Their intentions were obvious. They were going to fry a hole through her head. Valkyrie began to squirm under them, her heat thundering in her chest.

 _Let me out._

No... No... No...

 _Let... Me... Out!_

She couldn't die. Dying would mean unleashing Darquesse, and subsequently ending the world.

 _I can help..._

Valkyrie gritted her teeth. Trying to break free of their hold.

Darquesse chuckled, _it's not as if you have a choice anymore..._

Valkyrie growled. She always had a choice. She wriggled her hands, desperately trying to pry free her fingers. The attacker didn't seem to notice, they were to concentrated on making her death as slow as possible. Valkyrie shifted her fingers, feeling the friction between them. Then the sudden heat. A spark blistered between her fingertips, hungrily absorbing her magic as it grew into a flame. The attacker yelped, they scrambled back, their hand badly burnt. Valkyrie mercilessly threw the flame, it latched onto her attacker, feeding off their screams.

She gasped, and struggled to catch her breath. But no time was given. A Mage charged, hand engulfed in a flame. Valkyrie scrambled back, the fire whizzing past her, singing her hair slightly. Another flame. She flung her body backwards, it narrowly missed her again. Valkyrie rolled to her feet, snapping out her palm. The Mage now less than a metre away. The air currents shifted, they buffeted around her palm...

The Mage reached her first, he launched himself forwards, fire in hand. He swatted her arm out the way and she found herself in a similar position to only a few seconds ago. But this time they were evenly matched.

They wrestled. Valkyrie jerked back to avoid the flame and bucked in an attempt to threw off her oppment. The Mage snarled forcefully shoving his fire engulfed hand towards her. She shot out her hand, grabbing his wrist just as the flames was centimetres from her face. Valkyrie grunted as the heat intensified, his eyes glistened in the heat, the fire creeping closer.

 _Thwak_

The man bucked, then suddenly dropped limp. The fire dying on his finger tips.

She frowned. Her brow furrowing.

What just happened?

She shoved him off her, eyes freezing on the arrow that protuded from his chest. Valkyrie traced back the arrow.

What...?

Her eyes lingered on a man clad in black, wielding a bow and arrow.

What...?

He wasn't looking her way, instead he picked off two more sorcerers with ease.

 _WHAT?_

Even Darquesse was confused.

Her eyes widened as she took in the rest of the scene. Along with the guy with the bow and arrow there was a red headed woman, dressed head to toe in a tight fitting black outfit. A man dressed in what looked like the American flag, who seemed to be content on using his matching shield as a boomerang. A taller, and more muscular man dressed in chainmail, waving a hammer around that spewed lightning. And, hovering above them all was a red and gold robot cyborg thing. A terrifying roar ricocheted off the walls, suddenly, what remained of the door that her and Skulduggery had blown to pieces earlier, was trampled on by a giant, green rage monster.

Valkyrie stumbled to her feet, catching Skulduggery's eye from across the room as his had sneaked up to his collarbone and activated a facade. Although he seemed equally confused. Despite all this, the group of misfits that had just burst in were only familiar, it was as if she'd seen them before... Then it hit her. The bow and arrow, the hammer, the giant rage monster... These were the so-called 'Heroes' that destroyed Manhattan in an attempt to stop an alien invasion. These were the Avengers. And they could only be here for one reason. She narrowed her eyes.

The Sceptre.

Valkyrie ran forwards, she snapped out her palm. Not even a second later the Sceptre was in her grasp. The Avengers' gaze flicked from the now empty case, to the Sceptre that was now in her grasp. Valkyrie knew she couldn't face all of them, she'd be outnumbered for one, even with Skulduggery. Besides, they had a _God_ on their side. That was already unfair.

She didn't stop running, instead she splayed her hands and buffeted herself up, over the Avenger's heads and by Skulduggery's side. Only then did she stop. "Uh, Skul, what do we do?" She hissed, not taking her eyes off the Avenger's, who now we're now prepared for a fight.

"Now? We do what we do best." He replied, tugging on his gloves to hide his bones.

"Run?"

"No... We fight." He corrected, sounding slightly offended.

"Until the end?" She asked with a grin.

"Until the end."

...

Tony burst into the warehouse. Already shooting repulosers, easily picking off the attackers. It looked as if there was already a fight commencing, but with who he couldn't tell. Besides, they'd deal with that later. First... The Sceptre. His eyes were drawn to the case centred in the room, holding an almost antique Sceptre.

"J, is that it?" He asked, slowing the thrusters and hovering above the ground.

"Yes, sir. I have confirmed that is Loki's Sceptre."

"Hey, guys, Jarvis confirmed, that's it." He said through the comms.

Steve wandered onto the scene, flinging his shield at the last few Guards. An arrow whizzed through the air, hitting a man in his back. "Took you long enough." Grunted Hawkeye through the Comms.

"Hey, Birdbrain, don't insult my genius." Tony smirked, playing off the self-obsessed part of his persona.

Suddenly there was a deafening roar. The Hulk crashed through the wall behind. Mercilessly flinging the Guards away. "Who unleashed the Hulk?" Steve demanded, gaze flickering to Stark.

"Whoa, It was wasn't me...!" Protested Tony, then, after a pause added "This time."

"Stark..." Natasha warned through the comms. Tackling a Gaurd to the ground with ease.

"Awww... Your no fun, Tasha." Tony replied with a pout.

"Call me that again and I swear, Stark, you will regret it." Growled the Assassin.

The billionaire paled. "Ack! Okay, okay... I might have had something to do with the other guy." He finally admitted. The Avengers groaned, there was a chorus of "Stark"s and "Tony"s.

"Really, Tony?" Steve asked, "We went through this last time. Don't unleash the Hulk unl-"

"Did we? Cause I really wasn't listening..." Tony grinned, "I thought it was one of your boring motivational speeches."

"It was." Hawkeye confirmed. "And God, was it boring..."

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. "Oh, come on Nat... You didn't actually enjoy it did you?"

"And if I did?" She replied.

"This might be the end of our friendship." Clint nodded solemnly.

Lightning sparked in the corner of his vision. A few strands coming dangerously close for comfort. "Uh, Thor? Do you mind not frying me?" Tony yelped as he dodged back.

"I am sorry, Man of Iron, I had no intentions of... Frying you." Boomed the Thunder God through the comms.

"Jesus, Thor! Volume!" Protested Hawkeye, wincing.

"I am also sorry, Hawk of Eye, I had-"

"Sorry, Point Break, really don't have time for this." Tony hastily said, before Thor could cause anymore damage. "We're here for Rudolph's Sceptre, aren't we?"

"Yes, Loki's Sceptre. So I can take it back to Asgard, where it belongs..." Thor beamed.

"Oh, yeah. About that... You don't think I could, uh, hold onto it for a while-" Tony began, but was interrupted by Capiscle.

"-Tony, You said so yourself, we don't have time for this. Now grab the Sceptre, and go." Steve ordered, exasperation heavy in his voice.

"Geez, Capsicle, a bit cranky today are we?" Muttered Tony, before making a move for the Sceptre... That had now disappeared... "Uh..." Tony began, "Guys... We have company." His eyes fixed on the young girl, head to toe in black. Holding the Glow Stick Of Destiny. The Girl ran forwards, then, at the last second she soared over their heads. Skidding to a hault next to a man in a suit.

"Wait, did we not notice-" Began Clint, but was interrupted.

"Avengers. " Adressed Steve, "They have the Sceptre-" Tony scoffed at this, ",but we out number them easily. If it calls for a fight-"

"Uh, Cap. Why are they holding flames?" Clint asked, eyes wide, voice steady.

"Avengers. Assemble!"

"No, seriously, _what_ is going on?" Clint exclaimed.

...

Valkyrie leapt to her left, the repulsor blasts just missing her. She returned with a fireball, that the robot, or what Valkyrie had now identified as Iron Man, dodged. She grunted and ran to her left, Iron Man gave chase, firing repulsors at her from behind.

Then a right hook caught her chin, she staggered back, gagging. Valkyrie was then kicked, she tumbled to the ground, gripping the sceptre in her left hand and landed in a crouch. It was the woman who'd attacked her. Valkyrie snapped her palm out, propelling the woman into the wall.

She was given no time to recover, Iron Man was already open firing again. Valkyrie scrambled back, but was hit by a blast. Valkyrie cried out, the blast was going to leave a bruise but nothing else. She had to remember to thank Ghastly for the protective clothes.

Valkyrie was on her feet again. Already orchestrating tendrils of shadows to attack Iron Man. A tendril caught around his ankle, and he lost control of the thrusters, she swung him into the wall. Disappointed when he haulted only millimetres from the surface. Although she felt a sense of achievement when she glimpsed the sparks spewing from the left thruster.

Valkyrie shifted her concentration to the shadows again, they began to seep out her ring and drip off her hand like fresh blood. They sharpened and rose as she gave her orders. Once they were airborne she stepped back to orchestrate them...

 _TWANG_

A red, white and blue disc hit the wall and ricocheted off, not slowing on its path towards her. The shadows acted on reflex, snarling and grabbing the frisbee mid air, then swinging it back towards the attacker. Her gaze swung to follow the shield.

The American flag was a statue of surprise, he only raised his hand to catch the frisbee in his palm, before using the momentum to charge at her whilst wielding the disc like a maniac.

He threw it. But once again the shadows darted into its path. Catching the shield and swinging it back. They did this a few more times, enough for it to become a game of throw and catch. All while the super soldier was charging at her.

Valkyrie was so preoccupied fending off the stupid frisbee that she didn't see the American flag charging. Not until it was too late, that is and she was being slammed into the wall. Her head rocked back, painfully smacking against the wall and immediately the shadows vanished. She crumpled, and soon the only thing holding her up was her attacker.

Then she was tumbling across the ground at an alarming speed. Valkyrie splayed her hands, she rolled into a comfortable crouch and with the air still at her command she sent a column of air into the American flag. A grin slithered onto her lips. But even that small victory was short lived.

A foot smashed into her jaw. Valkyrie snapped back, her vision blurring as she slapped against the ground. Her arms uselessly waved to fend off her attacker, but her attempts were scattered by her attacker. One moment she was in the ground, the next she was being choked by the probably insane woman that she'd flung into the wall earlier. Valkyrie struggled in her grip, but it was in vain as every second that passed was another weaker than she was before.

Then it clicked.

She had _magic._

Valkyrie stopped trying to pry herself free from the iron grip around her neck, and in her last few moments of strength, clicked her fingers. A flame flared. Blindly she shoved it into where she hoped the woman's face was, she appeared to be correct as the choke weakened and air gushed into her lungs.

Valkyrie flung her self forward. Coughing and spluttering as she drowned in air. She risked a glance over her shoulder to see the woman desperately trying to put out the flames, without much success as they were spreading like wild fire. The American flag was by her side, but prove to be no help whatsoever. A string of foreign words wavered in the air. Presumely aimed at Valkyrie.

Valkyrie was on her feet. Looking for the sceptre that she'd dropped in one of the earlier struggles. Her eyes locked onto the shimmering staff. All the Avengers were taken care of, or at least... Occupied. Now was her chance.

A few seconds later the sceptre was in her hands, and she was rotating it in her hands. Her eyes lit up with awe. Valkyrie could almost feel the power ebbing from the crystal. And it was begging her to-

Before her brain could process what was happening, Valkyrie was slammed into. Then she was airborne before crashing into the wall. A groan escaped her lips as she slumped to the ground. Ears ringing. Head throbbing. Everything... Hurting... Had she just been hit by a truck?

The sceptre came to rest next to a red and gold clad boot. A chuckle fluttered down to her. Her vision swiped up. Iron Man towered over her, the Sceptre already in his gauntlet. "What's wrong, sweetie?" He asked in a cocky tone. "You forget about me?" At her silence he gasped, and feigned offence. "Now that's embarrassing... God, well..." He continued talking, but Valkyrie blocked him out, anger boiling in her veins.

She hated him. The last thing she needed right now was another ego comparable to Skulduggery's.

Valkyrie beckoned the shadows lurking in the corners of the room. Then with a sadistic smile she twisted her hand, the shadows sharpened, contorting into shadows. He faltered in his monalogue. "I mean I'm Tony Stark-" The words died in his lips. "Shit- Jar-" Valkyrie snapped her hand forwards. The daggers sang through the air, too fast to see, let alone dodge.

He shielded himself with an arm. A few of the daggers bounced back leaving barley a scratch but the latter badly dented the armour. He sighed, "Are you kidding me? I just gave this thing a paint job-"

Valkyrie launched herself forwards, splayed her hands and knocked him off his feet. He activated the thrusters and suspended the fall mid air. The sceptre still in his grasp.

She readied shadows and was about to lash out when he fired the repulsors again. Valkyrie suddenly found her self switching to defence, or rather running as far away as possible.

Fire flared in her palms, she twisted and threw them both at Stark. He dodged with ease, then continue used open firing. Her gaze shifted to the wall ahead. An idea formed in her mind. Valkyrie picked up the speed then splayed her palms, she kicked out and with a buffet of air was launching herself through the air. Valkyrie flailed and grabbed blindly. She caught onto Stark's armour by the arm then proceeded to try and snatch away the sceptre.

Stark cursed then after a few attempts to shake her off. The suit erratically flew around the room, each turn jostling her violently, threatening to send her crashing to the cement floor below. Valkyrie grunted as she clutched the metal arm, holding on with all her might after a close call. A grim smile tugged on her lips despite the awful situation she was in.

 _Uh, Val frisbee coming your way..._

 _SMACK_

Valkyrie's world tilted. Her head screamed at her, and she was sure that blood was clotting up her vision. Her head was throbbing so furiously she didn't even register hitting the floor... Or letting go of Stark for that matter. She groaned, struggling to get up, but instead the world span. Valkyrie fell to the ground again, her vision was blurring. She ached all over, she couldn't... Valkyrie cursed, but it was too late. The corners of her vision caved in. A gentle numbness washed over her as everything muted. She felt hands on her body, she was being hauled up, metal latched around her wrists... But it was too late...

...

When Skulduggery wasn't dodging the rampaging Hulk, he was trying stop Hawkeye's explosive arrows from hitting him, the act of deflecting them with a column of air was beyond tedious by now. And when he wasn't doing either of those two things he was getting struck by lightning.

Skulduggery spared a glance across the room as he danced around one of Hulk's punches. Valkyrie was currently attacking an airborne Iron Man by... Hugging him to death? He'd seen some weird methods of killing over his few hundred years on this earth but death by hugs seemed a bit far fetched. He made a mental note to talk to her about this after, it was as if all those combat lessons had been for nothing.

An arrow pierced into the wall behind him. Skulduggery barley had time to throw himself forwards before the blast carried him the rest of the way. He sat up and groaned from where he'd landed. This was a really bad day... A bolt of lightning sent him crashing into the wall. It was just the worse.

Skulduggery jumped over Hulk's swing, only to be bombarded with arrows, the cycle repeated, only this time he wasn't struck by lightning. Which was an improvement...

He found himself twisting towards Valkyrie's battle. And things seemed to be taking a turn for the worse. The hugging strategy was a dud, and Iron Man really didn't seem to be appreciating the free hugs whatsoever. Something sliced through the air and smacked into the back of Valkyrie's head. He soon found out it was a glorified frisbee... God, was he going to tease her about being taken out by a glorified frisbee. Valkyrie then landed in an unflattering heap an despite her best efforts to stay conscious she drifted into a forced sleep.

The skelton sighed.

He doubted he could take on all of the Avengers at once. But surrendering would mean swallowing his pride, and ego for 5 seconds of shame. He really didn't want to do this. Skulduggery absently caught an explosive arrow whilst on deep thought and threw it back, much to the archer's surprise who scampered to avoid the blast.

They shackled his young apprentices hands behind her back in regular handcuffs. At least he'd be able to use magic, maybe then he'd be able to formulate a plan to overpower them... Maybe.

The skelton sighed, again.

He'd made up his mind.

Skulduggery cleared his throat. Then casually raised both his hands in the sign for surrender. "I've decided to surrender. Not because I'm outnumbered and over powered. But because I feel bad for you and am giving you a chance to capture me. Also because you took out my friend with a glorified frisbee and I want to tease her about it." He finished, before realising that all eyes were on him.

A moments silence passed.

"Hey, Stark." The archer finally said, a grin tugging on his lips. "Looks like you've got competition."

"Shut up, Birdbrain. Or do you want me to spray paint all your equipment pink?" Threatened an echoey voice from the floating armour.

"You wouldn't." Hawkeye gasped.

"He would." The red-head drawled in, with a smirk.

"Aye, Son of Stark is not a force to be reckoned with."

Clint glanced between Natasha and Tony, both who were smirking (Well, he could imagine that Stark was smirking beneath his armour). Then at Thor, who offered zero support whatsoever. The archer whimpered. Yes, actually whimpered.

Skukduggery coughed. "You can just turn over the Sceptre and let us both go if you want."

Captain America shook his head. "Let's get him back to base. Fury's not gonna be happy."

"Damn right." Murmured Hawkeye.

The Hulk roared in agreement.

...

So, what did you think? Was it better? Worse? Should I just give up now? Tell me in a review... Please. :)


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